i've had this at the back of my mind for a while now, it's been really hard for me to tell how i actually feel. i'm so unsure of everything plus i don't wanna rush things because, i genuinely definitely don't think i deserve such a person like you. you're so beautiful and everything, while i'm just barely average. if you were to meet me in person you probably won't even look at me for three seconds. i'm ready to give you everything i have but it's literally barely anything, i really don't have much to offer. this is why i'm scared to initiate anything becaue i don't wanna lose this very moment, i really love what we have rn. but sometimes i feel like i'm making you feel i don't care about you that much even though i do it's just kinda hard for me to show that because i'm afraid. i appreciate everything you do for me so much and i feel like i'm not giving that back. you are sooo perfect that i feel guilty for not doing everything i can for you. but making you feel happy or anything better brings me so much happiness. i don't even know how to wrap this up. i guess, i just wanted to tell you that, you're everything and i'm barely anything. i really do love you, angie.

i'm not even sure what to say rn, but i'll come up with some as i type. didn't you realize that i don't feel good about him? the fact that he can hang out with you makes me so fucking jealous already. the whole time i was with my friends i was just staring blankly and i don't even know what to say, my eyes were genuinely almost gonna tear up but i forced it to not to. i also had a toothache at that very moment so i just reasoned my toothache to go quiet. i eveb missed my stop at the jeep for like 400m and i just walked since i needed to think but i couldn't, i missed my stop because i was genuinely zoning out. you ask if it's okay? the hell you mean... what do you want me to say, "no it's not okay"? and just let you tell them that "sorry my bf told me that he doesn't want me to go"? no bro. my guilt will haunt me as much as my jealousy does. i don't even know what to do rn i genuinely cannot even function. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IT'S KILLING ME. maybe you could say "but i'm with another girl" would that really change anything? he was with you you were with him, having fun, that's it. i'm not even mad or anything i just hated myself even more once again because maybe i'm being too jealous maybe if look better you'd avoid every guy i'd be bother with :).